Nintendo of America Hires Bowser in Sales??!?

By Ryan Bates

A lot of doomsayers have been foretelling Nintendo of America falling off the rails for nearly a decade now, but their latest act may finally be the end of it all: they've hired Bowser as their vice president of sales and marketing.

Unbeknownst to many, Bowser actually set this tactic in motion at EA, as their VP of Global Business Planning. At NOA, he'll oversee advertising, marketing, and financial issues for the like for future projects on the 3DS and Wii U, as well as their future forays into theme parks, smart phones, and the nebulous console code named NX.

Fortunately for us, not only will Mario and company be on the job, but so will Bowser's new “boss,” Executive Vice President of Sales & Marketing Scott Moffitt, and the head honcho at NOA, The Regginator himself, US President Reggie Fils-Aime.

Peach, fortify your castle, because Bowser is officially on the clock. Doug Bowser.

Ryan Bates
Ryan Bates

I'm currently based out of Las Vegas, NV (no I don't gamble all the time or live in a hotel on the strip) but I'm a So Cal kid through and through. I'm a Nintendiehard -- I stand by my man -- but I'm a fan of games no matter what the console, including Steam. RPGs, fighting, and action/adventure are my fortes. Give me a great story and characters any day. Call of Duty? I guess, if that's your thing. Classic Final Fantasy and Zelda? Now you're cookin' with gas!

When I'm not gaming, I like culinary adventures, moviegoing, and the Intert00bz. Ask me about my favorite web shows! I can get down on some anime, my favorite sports are boxing and baseball, and I can even get in tune with that parapsychological vibe, even though it's well-known and well-documented I'm kinda a pansy with horror stuff. (I think they get a kick out of assigning me those games for review.)

I'm also single and available, but sorry gamer girls, I play with joysticks.

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