As Someone With Chronic Back Pain, I Don’t Approve of These Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 Screens

By Heath Hindman

Here are some screens and art from Koei Tecmo's upcoming back pain simulator, Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 for PS4 and Vita. PS4 version shown.

This hasn't been confirmed for international release. But with such an emphasis on an unhealthy lifestyle, who could even care?

 

Dead or Alive Xtreme 3

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #1

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #1
    Swimsuits featuring emphasis of heart and tailbone.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #2

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #2
    They give each other back support to ward off back pain. I fully condone this.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #3

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #3
    My physical therapist has me do stretches like this, too. I get where she's coming from.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #4

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #4
    Honestly, she probably needs a stronger top piece, but that appears to be doing well enough.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #5

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #5

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #6

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #6
    I guess the guy cutting the bottom part, like, looked away for a second but his scissors kept going? It's all crooked.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #7

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #7
    Again with the stretching. My hair doesn't flow like that, but yeah, I do the same thing daily.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #8

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #8
    OK, no getting around this one. That's exactly what it looks like: a very comfortable swimsuit.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #9

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #9
    Maximum comfort displayed.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #10

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #10
    Comfort in many positions. It can be considered active wear. 

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #11

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #11
    The strength of yarn.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #12

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #12
    Napkins held together by yarn. Background: breasts.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #13

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #13
    The napkins prove incredibly adhesive.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #14

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #14
    Using the camera angle made popular by Tomb Raider.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #15

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #15
    See now that's more like it. Let your ass breathe in an activity unlikely to damage the tailbone.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #16

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #16
    They hit each other with their butts to knock the other off a platform. As someone with chronic tailbone pain, I do not condone this at all.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #17

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #17
    No. Fucking damn it what did I just say about the tailbone thing? Damn it fuck, mine hurts every day. Discs out of place and pinched nerves and.... URRRRGH, girls, you're gonna mess yourselves up.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #18

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #18
    You can only sit in a chair like that for so long. Change positions regularly. For real.

  • Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #19

    Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 #19
    I once jumped in a pool thinking it was mad deep. It was inches deep. I fucked up my tailbone hard. I was like 12. To this day I wonder if it was the beginning of the end for my back. I mean like, I was doing a cannonball, but just got an assload of concrete. Shit looked way deeper than it was. 
Heath Hindman
Heath Hindman

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