Fall Guys’ See Saw game is a disappointingly apt metaphor for humanity

Fall Guys is, as our review eloquently puts it, like if Dr. Seuss directed the Ninja Warrior game show. It’s as whimsical as the former with all of the padded gauntlets reminiscent of the latter. But it’s also similar to Seuss in its harrowing, if unknowing, satire of modern society, especially in regards to its See Saw race challenge. Frustrating in its execution yet elegant in its symbolism, this cursed activity drags the experience down but plainly serves as a stark reminder of how selfish, thoughtless eggs can make everything worse.

See Saw is one of those early rounds that separates the useless egg-shaped idiots from the slightly less useless egg-shaped idiots so, chances are, you’ll see it quite frequently in your journey to stack Crowns and nab some sweet skins. The game is simple: a long line of giant, colorful seesaws sit between you and the finish line and teeter as more oafs jump on them. It requires a touch of platforming and timing as you wait for the seesaws to line up.

The problem is not only how easily other people can sabotage your run, but how they do so while also thoughtlessly destroying their own. These hellish seesaws almost always sit at their most extreme angles, either about 120 degrees or 60 degrees depending on their orientation, and are harder to traverse because of it. Slippery as a greased ice rink and a one-way ticket to the pink underworld that sits below, players have to wait until they level out in order to actually get across.

Sheep lining up for slaughter

Fall Guys' See Saw game is a disappointingly apt metaphor for humanity

But that’s not how seemingly 90% of Fall Guys players operate. Instead of waiting a mere few seconds to have each plank reset to a manageable level, scores of absentminded beans repeatedly toss themselves at the unclimbable seesaws, making them more unclimbable with each colorful idiot that sacrifices itself for the greater ill. With every soft clunk against the bright purple, yellow, or blue platform, progress is set back for everyone unfortunate enough to be in the second line at the beginning. 

This self-destruction combined with the delusion that this time will be different and the side effect of obstructing others is a strangely fitting metaphor for humanity and, more specifically, the response many have to the COVID-19 pandemic. You can sit back with your mask on and try to wait it out to make the situation better like some helpful and invaluable souls, but a bunch of headstrong eggs are going to constantly hold everyone back and die in the process because they know better, apparently. 

Team games are criticized for a similar reason since they can also be easily spoiled by others. Egg Scramble and Rock N’ Roll are two of the biggest offenders in that regard. But in See Saw, the metaphor of humanity is more streamlined: stubborn chumps using their lack of critical thinking and foresight as a means to block progress. Except in Fall Guys, it’s not a maskless guy in a tacky red hat, it’s a bean guy with a half-wolf, half-raptor costume.