Conker’s Bad Fur Day Walkthrough

                          ASCII Art is over *BLEEP*-ing rated...

       C O N K E R ' S   B A D   F U R   D A Y   F A Q / W A L K T H R O U G H
       c o n k e r ' s   b a d   f u r   d a y   f a q / w a l k t h r o u g h

Conker's Bad Fur Dayâ„¢
Platform: Nintendo 64â„¢
Version 0.50
Brett "Nemesis" Franklin
E-Mail: [email protected]
My website:


i.   Introduction
01.  Walkthrough
     = Chapter 1: Hungover
         - Scaredy Birdy
         - Pan Handeled
         - Gargoyal
     = Chapter 2: Windy
         - Mrs. Bee
         - Poo Cabin
         - Pruned
 - Yee Haa!
         - Great Balls of Poo
         - Wasp's Revenge
     = Chapter 3: Barn Boys
         - Marvin
         - Mad Pitchfork
         - Sunny Days
         - Barry & Co.
         - Buff You
         - Haybot Wars
         - Frying Tonight
     = Chapter 4: Bat's Tower
         - Mrs. Catfish
         - Barry's Mate
         - Cog's Revenge
         - The Combination
         - Blast Doors
         - Clang's Lair
         - Pisstastic
         - Brass Monkeys
         - Bullfish's Revenge
     = Chapter 5: Sloprano
         - Corn on the Cob
         - Sweet Melody
         - U-Bend Blues
         - The Bluff
     = Chapter 6: Uga Buga
         - Drunken Gits
         - Sacrifice
         - Phlegm
         - Worship
         - Rock Solid
         - Bomb Run
         - Mugged
         - Raptor Food
         - Buga the Knut
     = Chapter 7: Spooky
         - Mr. Death
         - Count Batula
02. Money Locations
03. Tail-Thingy Locations
04. Weapons and Items




*BLEEP* off. You came here for the walkthrough and basic FAQ, correct? So why
the hell are you reading this? This section won't help your sorry ass with
this awesome game now will it? Will it? Didn't think so. Go on and take your
sorry *BLEEP*-ing ass down the page and read the *BLEEP*-ing walkthrough you
came to see.

What's that you say? You want a Story and Controls section? Well *BLEEP* you.
If you really want to read the *BLEEP*-ing Story, then go off and read another
FAQ for this game, or, better yet, go find your Instruction Manual that came
with the game, and read it from there. It'll be easier that way; there are
pictures and pretty colors with that version. You want a Controls Section?
What are you, a *BLEEP*-ing retard? You don't know how to play the game? Well,
if that's the case, then I feel sorry for your pathetic ass.

You're still here? I said *BLEEP* off.


ii. Legal Stuff

 This FAQ can only appear on the following sites (w/out having to ask me):

• GameFAQS 
• Cheat Code Central 
• GameSages 
• FAQ Domain
• Happy Puppy
• ZDNet/
• Game Revolution

___________________________NOT WWW.FRESHBAKEDGAMES.COM_________________________

If anyone finds it on any other site or, please inform me ASAP.

E-Mail Address: [email protected]

© Copyright 2000-2001 Brett "Nemesis" Franklin. This FAQ and everything
included  within  this  file  cannot be reproduced in any way, shape or
form  (physical, electronical, or otherwise) aside from being placed on
a freely-accessible, non-commercial web page in it's original, unedited
and  unaltered  format. This FAQ cannot be used for profitable purposes
(even  if  no  money  would  be  made  from  selling it) or promotional
purposes.  It  cannot be used in any sort of commercial transaction. It
cannot be given away as some sort of bonus, gift, etc., with a purchase
as this creates incentive to buy and is therefore prohibited.



Version 0.50 (03/16/01)
• Completed the Chapter 2 (Windy) Walkthrough by adding the last few quests,
  added the first 2 parts of Chapter 7 (Spooky), and updated the other 
  sections of the guide.

Version 0.45 (03/14/01)
• Added and completed the Chapter 6 walkthrough (Uga Buga), and updated the
  other sections of the guide.

Version 0.40 (03/13/01)
• Added and completed the Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 walkthroughs. Also updated
  the other sections in the guide.

Version 0.30 (03/12/01)
• Added a few more sections to Chapter 3, and therefore completing the Chapter
  3 walkthrough, and updated the "Tail-Thingy Locations" and "Money Locations"
  sections. I also added the Weapons and Items section. I apologize for the
  lack of updates, but I'm playing this, The Bouncer, and Phantasy Star Online
  at once, as well as school and other offline-things (like work), so it gets
  tough to find time to update, but I'll do my best to keep the current flow
  of updates as high as possible.

Version 0.25 (03/11/01)
• Added a few more sections to Chapter 3, and added the "Tail-Thingy Locations"
  and "Money Locations" sections.

Version 0.20 (03/08/01)
• Added a few more sections to Chapter 2.

Version 0.01 (03/07/01)
• Everything. Uh...that's all I have to say here. Go away. Now.


01. Walkthrough


Here we go, the section you came to see. Does it excite you? Does the fact that
I'll be holding your *BLEEP*-ing wussy-ass hand throughout the game make you
randy? Well, it sure as hell makes me feel all tingley and warm all over.
Especially in my pockets. That's where the penguins live...uh...ahem. Onto the


Scaredy Birdy:
Run around to the left and around the fence perimeter, until you reach the
garden and the scarecrow, Birdy. Speak to him, and do as he says. He'll teach
you about the Context Sensitive pads, where you stand on them and press B. Do
as he says, and try it out once, then run over to the other pad and press B
again on it to cure Conker's hangover. You should have noticed that he was
drunk and had a hangover before, but now he doesn't. Nifty.

Hop into the water, and swim to the green island, and Conker will tell you
to press Z to crouch, then press A once to jump, and A again to do that
funny helicopter tail thing to get across the gap. Do this and fly over to
the log. Now once across the chasm, run past the door, and across the next
two bridges. Continue past these and onto another log. Fly across the next
chasm, and follow the path until you reach a large switch on the side of
the mountain. Jump up and pull it down, and a door will open. Walk up to the
giant gargoyal, and he'll talk to you. Don't approach him unless you want
him to tear you a new *******. Instead, run back and return to the door you
passed earlier, since it's open.

Pan Handled:
Upon entering, you'll find a key running around, so chase it, and press B
to knock it down. Take the key back to the door to unlock it again. Now
that you've learned the frying pan attack, return to the gargoyal. 

Hit him with the frying pan to send him to a rocky death...but a rock covers 
up the entrance, so you can't enter. D'oh. Hop onto the rock, and turn to the 
right to find a ledge with a Context Sensitive pad. Use it to get some TNT and 
blow the boulder out of your way, then run and enter the hole.


Mrs. Bee:
Watch the cut-scenes, then enter the new area. Go right after collecting
the chocolate pieces for health, and speak to the crying bee. She'll tell
you her hive was stolen, so Conker accepts to retreive them. Head back
to the sign that reads "Naughty" and "Nice", and head the "Naughty" way.
Run up the side of the hill, and past the barbed-wire fences, and you will
reach a golden bee-hive. Grab it, and the wasps will come after you, so make
a run for it back to the sobbing bee. You have to keep running at all costs,
or else they'll hit you, you'll drop the hive, and they'll take it back, and
you'll have to start again. Once back at the crying bee, she'll "dispose" of
the wasps, and give you $100 cash.

Run across the stone bridge near her to find a Context Sensitive pad, but
this one is different. It's for an Instruction Booklet, and you'll have to
dish out $10 to Birdy to use it and learn some more moves. You will learn
The Catapult, a move where you can use a slingshot to hit various items or
things. Use it now to kill the red beetles on the hill (4 of them), and a
door at the top will unlock. Run through the door that was unlocked at
the top, and enter the new area [See: Chapter 3: Big Barn Boys - Marvin].

__It is recommended that you scroll down and complete as much of Chapter 3 as 
you can, to earn more cash, and to get the chapter out of the way.__

Once you get $200 (you can get the other $100 from Chapter 3: Big Barn Boys),
take it, and it'll turn 10 o'clock. Run back to where you shot the dung
beetles with your slingshot, and enter the area to the left, the area that 
is "smelly".

Poo Cabin:
In this area, enter the house that is now open near the entrance. Talk to
the Dung Beetle, and he'll tell you to make the cows crap, and he'll give
you a big ball of poo. Wow. Hope into the hole he makes for you to start
the fun.

Once inside of the poo sewers, head out to the ledge where there are a lot
of ropes hanging from the ceiling. Hop onto the first one in front of you,
then hop to the right of the rope to find another one you can grab onto
with your tail-spin action. Make your way to the right side of the room,
where there is a series of ropes next to each other, with each one going
up higher than the one before it, all with a piece of chocolate between
them. Use these ropes to make your way to a large hole in the wall, where
a drain is. Hop into the drain, and head left and up the ramp to go outside.

From the entrance to where you find the bull, go left and near the wooden
plank area. There is a grassy ramp near the back of the wooded area, so
use that to hop onto the wood shed, and make your way up the side of the
wood sheds, avoiding the poo-balls, until you reach the top of a large
steel faucet with an arrow pointing in a clockwise direction. Stand on
this saucer, and run in the direction the arrow points. This will cause
the saucer to spin, so do this until some prune juice comes out of the
faucet and fills up the bull's trough. Return the way you came, and back
down where the bull is.

Yee Haa!:
Stand near the target which came out of the wall, and wait for the bull
to charge you. When he gets close enough, do a super jump out of the way,
or just fly away with your tail. Either way, just dodge his attack. If
done right, the bull will hit the target. This is very easy, and should
only take 1, maybe 2 tries. A door comes down, and out comes a female

Now another target will come out, so run near it, and let the bull hit
the target. It will get it's horns stuck in it, so while he's stuck
there, hop on top of the bull. Time to bull ride. Press B to activate
the bull ride, then ram the cow. She'll get annoyed and go over to
the prune juice and drink it. Now she has the screaming *****. Darn.
Watch as she squirts it everywhere and runs to **** in the inner-grate.
After you're done watching, you take over with the bull again, so line
up your aim with the cow once more, and ram her again to kill her off.

Once the bull throws you off his back, run near the purple prune juice
sign, and make the bull ram the target there, and watch as another cow
comes out. You probably won't notice, but another cow comes out, and
so does another large target. Make the bull hit this large target so
he gets stuck, and ride him again. Hit the cow 2 times to make her
go and drink up the prune juice like before, then ram her as she's
******** again. You may have to wait for her to begin to ****, so just
run around until she is in the central "shitter". Now one more target
will appear.

Make the bull hit this target, and another cow will come out. Do the
same thing as you did before with the other 2 cows, but this time, you
have to ram this cow 3 times before she drinks. If you miss her and
go towards the outer watery area, the bull will throw you off, and you'll
have to mount him once more. Kill the last cow, and the bull will fall
into the poo-hole where the cows took their *****. 

Sewage Stinks:
Go back through the door where you came into this area from, and the
area is now filled to the brim with watery ****. Swim to the Context 
Sensitive pad to learn how to swim underwater. Swim back into the center
area, and find the wooden beam at the top where a piece of chocolate
lies. Hop on, and you can find a tail-thingy at the end of the beam. Swim
back to the entrance where you first entered THIS area, where you can
find a wad of cash screaming for you. Swim to the surface of where the
cash is screaming to find it, $100. Take it, then swim back into the
central area, and swim to the very bottom of the area, and into the
black hole to exit.

Great Balls of Poo:
Once outside of the cabin, you'll find that the dung beetle made you a
giant ball of poo just for you. Push this one up the side of the large pile of
poo near the cabin. There are attacking dung beetles here, so wait for
them to fly into the side holes before they attack you. Push the ball of
poo up the side of the mountain until you reach the "king" Dung Beetle.
Push the ball of poo off the ledge and onto the king, blowing him up because
Conker added some TNT to the ball. Return to your next ball of poo.

Push the poo-ball past the ladder near the cabin, and around the perimeter, 
and push it off the ledge, and onto a armored guy below. Jump down to where 
he is, and find the switch behind him (the green switch), and jump on it 
and hit B to smash the switch, and to drain the lake. This opens up the 
entrance to Chapter 4.
Return to your ball of poo (they regenerate after using one), and push this 
one back up the winding ramp on poo-mountain, and to the top where a hole 
awaits. Push the ball into the hole, and it'll drop down through the mountain, 
and out of the boarded up entrance that now leads to Chapter 5. Hop onto the
top of the mountain with a super jump, and grab the wad of cash yelling
for you. $100 cold, hard cash.

Wasp's Revenge:
After defeating Uga Buga (Chapter 6), return to Windy, and talk to Mrs. Bee
again to learn that her hive has been stolen once more. Go back to the
wasp's nest, but this time, enter the nest. Once inside, follow the honey
path to the hive, and hop into the machine gun hive. Now you'll be forced
to fend off many wasps who come at you from all angles and from different
honeycombs. Use your center radar to see them coming (they're the blue dots),
and pick them off as they exit the honeycombs. They're pretty slow, and you
shouldn't get attacked if you have some skill, so just take your time and
blow 'em all to pieces. Once this has been accomplished, take the hive once
more, and, like before, run like hell with it back to Mrs. Bee, and she'll
take care of the wasps again. This time, you'll get $400 for doing this deed!

Mr. Barrel:
You should now have $2110, so go up the windmill path, past the killer worms,
and to the top, and pay Mr. Barrel the cash. He'll ask you for a ride, so
hop on him afterwards, and roll him down the mountain, successfully killing
every worm as you go, and at the bottom, the barrel will roll past Mrs. Bee,
and break through the boarded up path in the water behind Mrs. Bee. Conker
wakes up at night...time for Chapter 7!


Head to the right and forward to find a rodent and 2 blocks: The one on the
bottom wants that "fat-ass *****" off him, and if you can get rid of that
rodent, he'll help you.

Run back the other way (to the left of the entrance), and find the area
where some large blocks are hopping up and down, and you'll find a corral of
sorts with cheese in it. Approach the block named Burt, and he'll open the
gate for you. Enter it and take a piece of cheese, and take it back to the
rodent. Do this a total of 3 times, and the rodent will explode, and the
fat ***** of a block will jump off the other one. Use these guys to hop
onto the pipes behind them, and make your way to the roof, where another $100

Mad Pitchfork:
After taking the cash from the Marvin side-quest, the door to the inside of
the barn will open, so enter it. You'll meet a paint brush, paint can, a
pitchfork, and some jumping piles of hay. The pitchfork wants to kick your
ass, so talk to him to get him all riled up, then he'll attack you. You
can't really hurt him, so make him attack the haystacks instead by waiting
in front or near the haystacks, then hopping out of the way then the pitchfork
jumps at you. Do this for every haystack, and the his friends will make fun
of him to the point where he wants to kill that's what he does.
Or _tries_ to do, I should say. Run over to the wall switch near the entrance
to the barn and pull it down. A fat bee will fall out of the barn, and the
door will be unlocked again. Exit the barn.

Sunny Days:
Once outside of the barn, go left and talk to the king bee, and he'll talk
to you about his wife the queen bee, and a big-breasted sunflower. He'll
point her out to you, and ask for your help. After talking with the bee, run
over to the sunflower and speak with her. Now head back towards the king
bee, and talk to the swarm of bees near the jumping box. They're ticklish
bees, and they'll follow you wherever you go. Run back to the sunflower to
drop them off, and now you need to find more swarms. 4 more to be exact.

- This swarm is on the roof where you got the $100 cash after the Marvin
  side-quest...sorta. Head to the roof, where you found the cash, and you
  will find a swarm of bees. Take these back to the sunflower.

- Return to the roof once more, and back to where you found the last swarm
  of bees. Now, from where the cash is, face the barn itself, and you
  will see that you can jump onto the straw roof, so do so, then face
  right to see a ladder. Carefully make your way to the ladder without
  falling off the roof, and you should end up on top of the water tower.
  The bees are to your right, so be careful when getting them. Take them
  back to the sunflower the same way you came.

- Head back to the entrance of the area, and face the barn. Turn left and
  face the wall to the right of the tunnel, and jump up to find some bees
  hiding. Take them back to the sunflower.

- Go to the cheese-corral near the jumping blocks, and hop up the sides of
  the cliffs to find the last set of bees. Take them back to the sunflower.

After watching (or hearing) the "pollination" commencing, the sunflower will
ask Conker if he would like a "bounce". Do so by hopping onto her breasts, and
she'll bounce you high into the air. When you get enough air, hop into the
alcolve above her to snatch some cash.

Barry & Co.:
After taking the cash, run to the bouncing hollow block near the sunflower, and
wait for him to stop bouncing underneath a ledge. Hop on him, then jump onto
the ledge, and enter the barn. You'll meet 2 bats in here, and they want to
beat you up. Hop across the rafters with the chocolate pieces on them, and
avoid the bats. This is pretty simple, but if they get too close, the light
blub will appear, so hit B to use a flamethrower on them. Once across the
platforms, you'll find a Context Sensitive pad, so use it and throw the knives.
Find the pitchfork who is hanging from the rafters near the pad, and throw
the knives at him to knock him down. Hop down to the ground.

Buff You:
You'll meet the pitchfork on the ground, and he'll want to help you out. So
hop on his back to ride the pitchfork. Attack the giant pile of hay 2 times
with the B button while on the pitchfork, then after he turns into a semi-robot,
attack him once more (from behind) to cause him to fall through the floor,
and you fall with him.

Haybot Wars:
Welcome to the Terminator 2 part of the game. The pile of hay turns into a
robot sent to kill you, along with 9mm missiles and a oddly-familiar accent
we all remember from the Terminator films...

Hop onto the pitchfork again, and find the giant pipes scattered in the room
(there are 3, along with chocolate pieces behind them), and stand behind
one. The Haybot will shoot it, and steam will come out. Try not to get hit
by his arms, or else you lose 2 chocolate pieces and have to get on the
pitchfork again. Lure him to the steam (or water, whatever it is), and he'll
run away and start to freak out. When you are facing his back, you will
see a large red button that says DO NOT PUSH. Push it, and one of his arms
will blow up. Now, run to the nearest pipe, and stay behind it, and let
him shoot both missiles, then lure him again, then attack his button (jump
near the button, and when the light blub appears, press B). Do this once more,
and he'll be toast.

Frying Tonight:
After the fight, Frankie will ditch you, and the room will begin to flood. Swim
over to the large EXIT signs, and climb the ladder as fast as you can. Now
go to the Context Sensitive pad, and use the knives to cut down the 3 nearest
wires (the music will stop momentarily or just quiet down if you cut down
the right wires), then hop into the water, and swim to the next ladder, and use
the next pad to do the same with the last 3 wires. If done right, the water
level will rise again, leading to the exit. Swim to the exit, and meet a
monkey reading. Hop onto his book, and he'll throw you up really high, so
do a tail-spin and glide to the ledge with the $100 and the pieces of chocolate.
Exit the barn through the open door near the cash.

Slam Dunk:
Once outside, climb up the ladder, and avoid the first wasp, then at the top,
go left and climb the second ladder, and avoid the second wasp, then the
last wasp towards the top. At the top, you'll find a spring board, so jump
off it, and when the light blub appears above his head, press B to make
Conker turn into an anvil, and crash land into the pool below, and onto
a context sensitive pad. The causes a gate to open inside of the river
below. Climb up the ladder, then find the ladder leading back down to the
ground, and make your way back to solid land. Hop into the river, near the
sunflower, and enter the gate. You'll find a Tail-Thingy and $100 cash inside
of the gate.


Mrs. Catfish:
You'll stumble upon this quest right when you enter Bat's Tower. The catfish
want you to get rid of the bully dog-fish in the water, and they will reward
you with cash, so Conker agrees. Hop into the water, and swim to the right,
and into the green water, where you'll find the dog-fish swimming. Avoid
his attacks, and swim into the hole underwater. Now swim to the surface.

Barry's Mate:
Once at the surface, talk to the deaf Cog, and learn that you need to find
his missing friends...3 missing Cogs. Head to the rising platform near the
cogs, and ride it to the top to meet your bat-friends again. Run off the
platform, and around the ledge, then onto the center beam. If a bat comes
at you, and you hear it's sqeak, flame it with your flamethrower. Once across
the beam, hop to the left and onto the next ledge, then jump to the rope,
and climb up it. Walk slowy across the next beam to the other side, then
to the ledge to the left, and onto the next rope. Continue these actions
until you reach the last rope that leads to a ledge that stops suddenly,
where you can hear some money calling your name. You should see a switch
on the wall across from you, so run and jump across the gap to grab onto
the switch to pull it down. Return to the ground alive.

Cog's Revenge:
Swim back into the water near the cogs, and you should find that the gate
below is now open. Swim inside, and avoid the two armored thugs swimming
inside of the tunnel, and swim to the surface. You will find 3 female cogs
running around in this area, and in the next room, so find one, and knock
it out with your frying pan, pick it up, then quickly take it back to the
main cog room. Do this for each cog, then hop onto the center stone, and
run on it in a clockwise direction to make it spin. Do this, and the water
level will rise where the dog-fish is, and the cogs will get their revenge.
Now exit the cog area, and swim back into the dog-fish waters.

The Combination:
Swim around the dog-fish, and swim back to the lady catfish. They'll open the
safe for you where the dog-fish is, but you have to lead them to it. Swim
back to the dog-fish area, and around him and the floating mines, and to
the safe. They'll open the safe for you, allowing you to enter the door. Enter

Blast Doors:
Once inside, the money you are looking for runs off, and a Context Sensitive
Pad appears. Use it, and you'll get your slingshot. Ahead of you is a rotating
wheel with letters in it. You need to spell out "OPEN" with your slingshot
by hitting the letters in the wheel in the correct order to spell OPEN. Once
you spell it, the central floor will open, allowing you to enter and dive
into the water.

Clang's Lair:
Hop into the water, and onto the floating Context Sensitive Pad, and use it
to get a miner's hat with the flashlight. Dive into the water, and to the
very bottom, using the side air-vents for air as you go down. At the bottom,
enter the green-lit tube, and into the next area. Swim to the surface and
use the context sensitive pad here to recharge your light's battery, then
re-enter the water, and enter the blue-lit tube, and into the next area. At
the surface of the water is a large wall lever, so hop on it and pull it down
to open a gate underwater. Enter the green-lit tube closest to the surface
of the water, and enter the next area with the yellow tubes. Use the pad
at the surface to once more recharge your battery, then enter the yellow
tube(s). Now you are in another area with side-air vents, and a long
path to the surface, so make your way to the surface, while making pit-stops
in the air-vents to survive. At the top, you should reach a red-area, with
a giant hole. Hop into it.

You'll find some firey-imps down here, so you need to put them out. How so?
With piss, of course. Run to the context sensitive pad near the tab, and he'll
get drunk. Now just find the imps, and press B to piss all over them and to
extinguish them. Put out enough of them (I think it's 7 Imps, but I could be
wrong), two of them will jump into the giant boiler and use it to attack you.
The boiler has balls of...brass.

Brass Monkeys:
This is another boss. Duh. Load up on chocolate pieces, then find one of the
levers hanging from above one of the corners in the room. Lure the boiler
to you near the lever, then use a super-jump to hop into the air and to
grab the lever, which in turn releases crap from the pipe above the boiler.
The boiler should run to the center of the room, dazed and confused. Run to him
in the center of the room, and run to his balls, and when the light blub appears,
hit B, and Conker will attack his balls. Do this 4 times, once for each corner
of the room, until the balls fall off, and the boiler destroys itself.

Find the floor switch that is to the right of the beer keg if you face it,
and push one of the brass balls onto it to open a door. Avoid the fire
imps as you do this, because 2 of them are running around like crazy. Push
the other brass ball into the tunnel you just opened to get rid of the imp
inside, then enter the tunnel yourself. Upon exiting the tunnel, you'll
find some cash. Take it, then exit the safe, and back into the water.

Bullfish's Revenge:
The catfish will argue with you, then swim away. As you head towards the
catfish, the dogfish will escape, so swim as fast as you can, making sure
to get the catfish in it's way so it won't attack you. Swim back to the wooden
ledge, and watch the Jaws-like cutscene. The dogfish crashes, leaving you
to use it as a spring to reach the alcolve above it containing $300 cash.


Corn off the Cob:
After entering Sloprano from Poo Mountain, you'll meet up with a Dung Beetle
who tells you his story, then flys off. Run straight ahead, and you'll meet
a kernel of corn. A large voice demands some sweet corn, so let the giant
hand in the center of the room hit the corn, then grab it, and toss it off
the edge of a ledge that hangs over the poo in the room, and Conker will
toss it off and into the poo. Run past the hand, and past the context
sensitive pad that isn't working, and hop off the ledge and fly across the
gap to the other side. You'll find 2 more pieces of sweet corn here, so
knock them down with your frying pan, then toss them off the nearby ledge.
Be sure to watch out for the hand in the center, again.

Now run up the next path that is near the ledge you threw the corn off of,
and take the right path when it forks off (the left-hand path leads to some
money you can't access yet). Follow it to one more area with 3 more pieces
of corn, and repeat the process of tossing the corn into the central area,
and the Great Mighty Poo will come out.

Sweet Melody:
Once he's done singing, run to the Context Sensitive pad, and you'll use
some toilet paper as weapons. Toss some in his mouth when he goes to sing, and
dodge his **** balls when he throws them at you. After you hit him once, he'll
move, so do it again. Do it one time, and he'll make your pad unreach-
able, since he covers it with poo. Run back to the previous Context Sensitive
pad, and use more toilet paper on him again when he sings. Be sure to dodge
his **** balls when he throws them. Throw 2 rolls of T.P. into his mouth
this time, and he'll sing some more, cracking the glass where some cash lies.

He'll cover your pad again with ****, so fly back over the gap, and back to
the third pad, and launch 3 rolls of T.P. into his mouth, all while avoiding
his **** balls. Once you've done this, the glass will fully shatter, so
run over the gap again, and to the glass area that shattered. Run past the
cash for now, and pull the rope down to flush the Mighty Poo down the drain.
Take the cash for your efforts.

U-Bend Blues:
After taking the cash, head for the center of the room where the Poo was
flushed away. There are some decending platforms, so fly to the closest
one to you, and make your way down to the bottom, and enter the door. After
the cutscene with Berry is over with, you regain control of Conker. Fly down
to the outer part of the water, and take some chocolate pieces if needed,
and the Tail-Thingy hanging up. Hop into the water, and head past the spinning
blades. If you touch a blade, then you will die no matter what. If you do die,
just grab the Tail-Thingy again before going back into the water. This is
very hard to do, and it will take you more than a few tries to complete. There
are 3 blades, and there is a air vent near each one. Stay as low to the ground
as you can when passing, so you have more room and time to stay away from the
blades. Once through the blade tunnel, get some air at the end, then surface.

Go through the next tunnel, and into another area with blades and some ropes.
Hop onto the rope in front of you, then look for the ladder. Time your
jump so you don't land on a spinning blade, then jump off of the rope, over
the blades, and climb up the ladder.

The Bluff:
Hop up to the ledge to Conker's left, then go across the bridge to meet up
with some weasels. They demand $1000 cash to pass, so Conker will give it
to them (you should have over $1000 cash anyways). But the one weasel will
try to take you for a squirrel, but Conker will convince him that he's not
a squirrel...he's an elephant. The weasel believes him, and lets Conker pass.
Before Conker leaves, he whistles, and you get your money back and exit the


Drunken Gits:
Upon entering the area, you'll see a large tower ahead of you. Avoid the dinos
running in circles around it, and run to the back of the tower and enter
the door to get on the second floor. Now avoid the dinos again, and run around
to the other side of the second floor to find another doorway leading to the
roof. At the top is $100 cash yelling your name. Near the money is a statue.
Hop onto it, and when the light blub appears above Conker's head, press B to
turn into an anvil, and smash it down. Do this twice, and the statue should
fall through the roof. If not, then keep smashing it until it does. When it
crashes, go back onto the statue, and hammer it down again to open up a path
below it leading to a tunnel. Run to the club entrance where all the drunk
rock-men are, avoid them, and push the rock that is to the left of the club
bouncer through the new doorway path, and down the tunnel. This will take out
2 cavemen and open a new path. Enter the tunnel and go through the newly opened
path. Run into the lava room, and head to Conker's right, down the ramp,
past the fire pits, and through the door that is to the giant dragon head.

In this area, you should see a giant purple egg in the center of the room.
The path you are on leads to it, so jump over the guards on the path, and
run to the egg. Stand on top of the monkey near the egg and he'll launch
you high into the air. Stand on top of the egg, and press B when the light
blub appears to hatch the egg. A baby dinosaur will come out and call you its
mummy. From the egg, follow the path to the right, leading the dino into
the cavemen, whom he will eat if he gets close enough to them. Follow the
ledge while letting your dino eat the cavemen, and when you get to the door,
let him follow you through it.

In this area, go left near the fire pit, and to the Context Sensitive pad. Use
it while the dino is eating the cavemen, and turn and face the main entrance
across from the giant dragon head, and find the button on the wall to the
right of the entrace, with an arrow on it. Hit it, and a platform will rise
up. Now lead the dinosaur onto the alter behind the Context Sensitive Pad, and
then hop off the ledge, and run around it back to the pad. While the dino is
on the alter, use the slingshot to hit the button on the wall to the left
of the entrance, and the ledge of rock will fall onto him, therefore pleasing
the Dragon God. He'll open his mouth, allowing you to enter.

Use the monkey's book again, and he'll launch you to the top of the Dragon
God's head. Now slide down his back to find some chocolate, some cash, and
another Tail-Thingy. Go back to the front of his head, where you can see
his green nostrals. Now when he stops breathing, hop into one. Press B to
shake some pepper in it, then exit the nostral, and do the same to the other
one, and the Dragon God will sneeze, allowing you to enter his throat. Do so, 
and avoid the swinging drop of snot, then go right, and over the next 2 gaps,
then past the swinging snot once more, and exit the area. Out here, Conker
will take the hat off the dead caveman. Now go back through the throat of
the Dragon God, and exit back out to where you started.

Once you exit the throat, the cavemen will worship you, and begin to follow
you around. Now walk slowly to the ramp that leads to the main entrance to
this place, allowing all 4 of them to follow you up the ramp, and out through
the exit, back to where the dance club is where the drunken rocks are. Find
one, and begin to attack it, and the other cavemen will help. Do this for
every rock-man out here, then approach the rock-bouncer. Conker will give him
the password, and he'll let you in.

Rock Solid:
As you enter the club, you'll find a floor switch near the bouncer and the
entrance. Run around to the bar area, and behind the bar is a rock. Push
this rock back up the ramp, and onto the floor switch near the entrance, and
the door beneath the cage where Berri is dancing in will open. Enter the
door. To the right, past the 2 dancing rocks is another floor switch. Run
back to the bar, and get drunk. Find the dancing lone rock near the door
you opened, and piss on him to push him into the hole, then make him go past
the 2 dancers, and onto the floor switch on the other end of the balcony. Be
sure to get sober again before pushing the rock onto the floor switch by
using the medicine cabinet near the center of the room, on the table with
the pieces of chocolate on it.

Return to the bottom floor, and get drunk again. Now go to the dancing man 
(he's with a chick) near the right-hand doorway that just opened, and piss 
on him to make him roll into this door. Once he crashes, sober up, then get
drunk once more, and find the last dancing man near the left-most doorway,
and piss on him and push him into the left door. This frees Berri, but she
doesn't recognize Conker with his hat, and runs off. Enter the right-hand
doorway to drop right into where some cash lies, so take it, then exit the

Bomb Run:
After watching the club boss take care of some business, you'll be forced to
carry a bomb back through the dragon god's throat, and toss it off the ledge
where you found the dead Uga and took his hat. You don't have much time to
do this, so I suggest you hurry up and do it. Avoid the Ugas and the snot
tonsels inside of the dragon god's throat, take 2 lefts, and avoid the dead 
Uga on the ledge, then toss the bomb off the ledge and into the area where
the giant egg used to be. It'll blow up, rising the lava level to extreme
heights. Now use the floating rocks in the lava, and enter the hole in the
wall across from where you are.

Conker will end up in a new area, where some Uga's have mugged your ass and
took your money. They fly away on their boards with your cash, so run up
the path and through the doorway, then hop onto the spare board below. Time
to race them and catch up with them individually and pan 'em with your frying
pan. Each time you hit one of them, you'll get more and more money back. But
beware: Once you reach the third and last Uga, the course changes, so watch
out for the new tunnel. Once you've gotten all of your cash back, the gate
where some money lies opens, so fly onto the stone ramp leading to it, press
A to jump, and fly into the money and land into an arena of some sort...

Raptor Food:
The arena is some kind of battle arena, it appears. A giant raptor comes out,
called a Fangy, so find the Context Sensitive Pad in the arena, and lure
the Fangy to it, and when he gets near, press B on the pad to hypnotize it.
Once it's dazed, hop on it's back, then focus your attacks on the Ugas running
around the arena. Ram them all off the edge of the arena and into the lava.
Or, you can stop and chomp on them and eat them. This is much faster than
ramming them into the lava. After taking care of the first wave of men, the
Infantry is called out, and they have spears, so take care of these guys too.
Once all of the Ugas are gone, Buga's girlfriend will tell him that Conker has
a bigger bone than he does, and so Buga will enter the arena to show her wrong.

Buga the Knut:
Time for an easy boss. Buga will stomp into the ground, making a shockwave
in the ground, so just jump into the air to dodge this, and when he gets
close enough, he'll raise his arms to hit you, so when he does this, attack
his crotch area with your dinosaur. His pants will fall down, and his bare
ass will be revealed. Run around to his ass, and when the light blub appears,
press B, and the dino will take a big bite out of his ass. Repeat this process
3 times, and everyone will see Buga's "big" boner. Heh.

Run over to where the babe is, and hop onto the rock near the babe, and use
it to access the wooden ledge, and enter the doorway to meet the Jugga, the
babe. She says it won't work out, then leaves. Exit through the door that
is right near Conker after the cutscene, then take the right-hand path, and
enter the light-door at the end of the path. Now grab the cash up here, then
follow the path to the edge, and jump off it and into the water from earlier.
Exit the water, and take the tail-thingy once more, then exit here to get
back to Sloprano, and hop into the dark hole to end up in the cabin in Poo


Mr. Death:
Swim through the water and out into the lake, where Death is swiping at the
catfish and cursing at them. Once he's done, swim into the other water entrance
to the right of Death, and once on the ledge, hop off and grab the lever in
the air, then press down to pull it and open the gates to the cemetary. Return
to the water, and swim back to Death at the dock. Once you've talked with him,
he'll curse at you too, and give you a shotgun to kill the undead. He says
the only way to kill them is with a shot to the head. Press B to take the
shotgun, and run up the ramp and enter the cemetary. As you enter, you'll meet
up with some rather unkind undead people...zombies. There are 12 that you will
need to kill before Death enters and opens the other door for you, so my
advice to you is to lure the zombies out of the graves, then run as far away
as you can from them, then just hold R and Z to keep the laser sighting on, then
snipe them in the head as they come towards you. They can surround you quickly,
and they will lose limbs but still come at you if you do not hit their heads,
so make your shots count. After 12 souls are given to Death (12 zombies killed),
he'll appear and open the door for you.

Follow the new path to the castle, being aware to avoid the worms that pop
out of the ground every so often, and enter the castle.

Count Batula:
As you enter, you meet up with the Count. He talks and talks about his family
and vine, and stuff like that, but then he drinks your blood, and turns you
into a bat, and tells you to take villagers for him and drop them into the
grinder. This is easy, just as long as you know where to find them. You can
find them in the main room with the stairs, and in the outside courtyard. The
courtyard is the easiest, because it's so close to the grinder, and will
make this quest go by faster. Each time you feed a person to the grinder,
the Count drinks their blood, and he gets fatter as he goes, therefore stretching
out the rope he's hanging by. You have to capture and feed the Count a total
of 7 villagers for him to fall into the grinder himself, and to turn Conker
back into a squirrel. To take the villagers, find one, fly over it, and hit
Z to **** onto it. If you hit one successfully, he'll fall over, so fly down
and Conker will automatically pick him up. Now just avoid the other villagers
(they have spears they can throw), and fly the villager back to the grinder.

>>More to Come>More to Come>More to Come