Box art - Desert Child

Desert Child Trophy Guide

Desert Child is loaded to the brim with trophies that may seem hard to get. However, they aren’t usually difficult if you know what to do. Some are missable and a bit cloudy but the game is short and it’s not hard to go back. This Desert Child trophy guide should help you get that coveted platinum.

While this Desert Child trophy guide covers it, be sure to buy newspapers and beans every single day and invest your money in the bank to make your life easier. Also most of what you can done before you do the final race.

Desert Child Trophy Guide

Hello, this is Pablo

Achieve max notoriety, the rank of Pablo Escobar.

Your notoriety goes up every time you do an illegal action like stealing a bike part or going to Club Furniture to hack the bank, throw a race, or the side swipe challenge. When your notoriety gets around the halfway mark, the police will randomly stop you on the street and you’ll likely get caught and lose your money and notoriety, hence forfeiting your chance to become Pablo Escobar.

To stop this from happening, you have to go to the X-Wray shop at the Hill and buy protection from the cops for three days. Once you do this, you’ll have to continue doing the three illegal tasks to continually raise your wanted level while also constantly buying the protection once it runs out. It may take a few tries because of spotty availability of the illegal activities and the randomness of the police stops, but it shouldn’t take too long for everything to line up perfectly.

1991

Collect all secret tapes.

Many of the races have not-so-hidden black VHS tapes. Just drive over them every time you see them. If you miss one the first time, you’ll just have to keep racing to find it.

Bean Machine

Eat all the bean types.

In the Burger Market, one of the shops with a blue or gray rug in the front sells beans that can help or hurt you during a race and they cycle out every single day. Just go before every race and buy both beans. There are a decent amount of them but if you do this before every race, you should be fine. While stated at the top of this Desert Child trophy guide, go buy beans every single day.

The stones on this guy

Attempt to race with over 75% damage and hunger

You can press the Circle button to look at your hunger and damage. Just do a few races, get hit by as much as you can, and don’t buy food until both meters are above 75 percent. You don’t even have to win to get the trophy. You should probably do this near the end or when you have some money saved up.

Vicious

Fend off the police without being shot.

This one is tricky and surprisingly vague. Once you start doing illegal activities and get around the halfway mark for your notoriety, you’ll likely randomly get stopped by the cops while walking around town. When they stop you, avoid their bullets but let them catch you during the hoverbike “race.” This should pop the trophy but this method seems at odds with the description since it implies that you have to escape.

Do you reckon Metro’s is this good every week?

Have a bad trip. Race on 4 stacks of strange beans.

There are special beans that make you trip that you can buy at the shop at the Burger Market. You’ll notice that you have picked the right bean given that the screen will get a little psychedelic once you buy them. Just buy four of them and go race. You’ll eventually see the correct bean when going for the other bean trophies and remember to buy beans every day.

Tony Jones

Buy every newspaper.

This one is also hard to track but you’ll see a kid selling newspapers to the left near your bike and the Olympia arches on Mars. Just go to him every single day and buy the paper. They’re cheap to buy and it’s easy to do if you do this daily along with buying beans. Again, like it says at the top of this Desert Child trophy guide, buy newspapers every day. Support Martian journalism.

The Martian is a bad movie

Survive a full month on Mars.

Martian months a lot longer than Earth months so you’re going to have to survive a lot longer than 30 days. You can track days by pressing the Circle button and looking at the top of the screen. Personally, it felt like I had to survive a lot longer than a month but that may be because I was buying Budlite beer at the Club Furniture to pass the days without racing. It popped for me near (but not exactly on) February 45, 2071.

However, you can just go enter races repeatedly lose and the days will still pass, which might be safer if drinking beer doesn’t actually count as passing days for the trophy.

Just do not do the final race if you want to get this trophy. It will instantly start New Game Plus and not let you go back to Mars to survive those last few days.

Root Vegetables

Beat the game.

Simple. Just buy the $10,000 ticket to get to the final race. Just be sure that you’ve gotten the other trophies first since New Game Plus starts immediately after you beat it.

Old

Have over $9000.

You’ll get this by beating the game but a good way to get money is to put most of your winnings in the bank in Northshore. You’ll gather interest and get to your goal in no time.

Getting the “Steve $$$ Hack,” sinking power cells into it, and doing the bank hacking mission at Club Furniture is also a good way to quickly stack dough.

Moriyama-san

Complete your record collection.

Buy all the music at Ding Dings near the racing station on Smith Lane on Mars. Tracks are $24.95 each but if you just put your money in the bank, you should have a lot of cash reserves.

Aquaman talks to water, not fish

Buy fish from the fishermen.

Just buy some fish from the guy near the ramen place on Fake River on Mars.

C.R.E.A.M.

Phone mom for a loan.

This is only achievable on Earth and not on Mars. Just keep losing matches on purpose and running into everything you can along the way during races. Eventually the game will automatically put your mom on the phone and she will send some money. How sweet.

Good morning video games

Start a new game plus.

Just beat the game and you’ll be roped into this. Just be sure you’ve gotten the other relevant trophies first.

Two baboons at once

Destroy two enemies at the same time.

You’ll probably get this without trying. Just shoot two of the hazards at the same time. Mash that fire button.

Mr. Bean

Eat 5 bean types.

You’ll also get this while buying the beans the Burger Market shop, as notified by the white interaction square and blue or gray rug. There are more than five types so you’ll get this trophy if you go to the market every single day to buy beans.

Nice

Have 69% hunger.

This one is a tricky because it is buggy and requires some math. There are multiple types of food that will knock your hunger. The big bowl of ramen is 20 percent and the smaller bowl is nine percent the Ramen Market. The WooHoo Fresh Burger at The Quarterdeck in Mecha Beach (which is also called Robot Beach) will take off two percent your hunger. Use these numbers to figure out what you need to eat in order to get to 69. Sometimes it won’t pop so be sure to not mash and go too quickly. Let it sit for a second or two before buying food and leaving the store.

Well…this is low

Successfully rob a bike on the street.

Sometimes you’ll randomly see a hoverbike on the street. It will have a white prompt box next to it, which will starting a sort of hacking minigame. Press X when each number is red to complete it.

Smarter than smoking

Never buy cigarettes.

Just finish the final race without buying cigarettes. They are at The Quarterdeck in Mecha Beach (also called Robot Beach) so be careful if you buy food there.

I’m the Lebanese Rambo!

Eat a snack pack without throwing up.

Go to the Nightlife District near the Club Furniture and buy the food from the dude on the street. If you make some sick, come back another day.

This is real fun

Chill for over an hour.

Instead of choosing “Race” when you go to, well, race, choose the “Chill” option. Then just let it sit there for an hour or so and go do something else as the protagonist smokes and gradually floats higher every few minutes.

desert child trophy guide

The absolute madman

Equip more than 30 power cells to a bike.

You earn power cells by winning races on Mars. Once you’ve won a fair bit of them, go to your bike after a race, hit the X button to interact with it, put one extra modification your bike, and then scroll over and put as many of the green power cells as you can on it. If you can fit 30, you’ll get the trophy. Look at the above picture for an example.

World’s Fastest Pizza

Take a pizza delivery job.

You can deliver pizzas at L’Antica in Northshore on Mars. It’s one of the options near the food.

The Desert Child trophy guide should help you get all the above trophies even if the game is a little vague and unclear at times.