Steam Achievements
- A Face Like a Beast - Kill 15 enemies with a Metal Beast while wearing the Zaulia Threads.
- Armchair General - Win a single-player Stage Battle against the AI using only orders
- Beard Beard Action Beard! - Make out with Ophelia while wearing the Mountain Man Threads.
- Beast Master - Ride one of every ridable animal.
- Boar Bather - Ride a Razorfire Boar into the Sea of Black Tears and live to tell the tale.
- C'nquerer - Win 50 match-made multiplayer battles.
- Carnivore - Run down 20 animals in the Deuce with the Coiling Maw equipped.
- Chicks n' Booze n' Stuff - Complete "Sanctuary of Sin"
- Coolest Thing Ever - Jump over a Hextadon in the Deuce
- Cry Me a River - Kill 20 Drowning Doom units with the Eye of Sorrow.
- Death From Above - Kill 20 enemies with one Bleeding Death
- Dollpocalypse - Hit 6 enemies with the explosion from a Brood's Double Team
- Euthanasia - Hit 15 enemies with one Agony Ball using the Pain Lifter's Double Team
- Favored - Acquire 3,000 Fire Tributes
- Fistful of Fog - Complete "Dry Ice, Wet Graves"
- Flowerslave - Summon all Motor Forges
- French Kiss Instructor - Complete "Pilgrimage of Screams"
- Got a Car and a Date - Complete "Welcome to the Age of Metal"
- Groupie - Complete Campaign mode on Gentle
- Hair Remover - Complete "Battle for Bladehenge"
- Hammer of Fate Champion - Win 10 games on Hammer of Infinite Fate maps - ranked or vs. the Brutal AI.
- Hammer of Infinite Fate Tourist - Play a multiplayer game on all Hammer of Infinite Fate multiplayer maps.
- I've never touched an axe before - Personally smote 300 enemies - any mode
- If You Want Blood, You Got It - Kill 20 Tainted Coil units with the Disgorger.
- Iron Fist - Win an AI stage battle - Brutal difficulty
- Legend - Complete Campaign mode on Brutal
- Loyal Customer - Purchase all upgrades in the Motor Forge
- Master of the Blood - Double Team with every Tainted Coil unit
- Master of the Flame - Double Team with every Ironheade unit
- Master of the Tear - Double Team with every Drowning Doom unit
- Metal God - Achieve 100% completion on the stats screen
- No More Tears - Complete "Sea of Black Tears"
- Norwegian Sendoff - Visit the grave of a fallen hero while wearing the Black Metal Threads.
- Now You Must Tell the Tale - View all Legends
- One Hit Wonder - Purchase 1 upgrade in the Motor Forge
- Overkill - Complete all hunting secondary missions
- Painkiller - Kill 25 enemies with the grinder of one Rock Crusher
- Practice Bloody Practice - Win an AI stage battle - any difficulty
- Protector - Complete 20 ambush, outpost defense, or mortar secondary missions
- Quill Tosser - Kill a Tollusk using only Ground Urchins
- Ran to the Hills - Complete "It's Raining Death"
- Ringleader - Trap 15 enemies in one ring of fire with the Fire Baron's Double Team
- Roadie - Complete Campaign mode on Normal
- Sellout - Spend 250,000 fans - any mode
- Serpent Samaritan - Free 40 Bound Serpents
- Serpent Savior - Free all 120 Bound Serpents
- Serpent Spanker - Free 80 Bound Serpents
- Silence, ground walker! - Gain 5 or more seconds of hang time in a single jump - any mode
- Six Degrees of Schafer - Play with or against another player who has this Achievement
- Some Demon Flesh on your Bumper - Slay 150 enemies with the Deuce - any mode
- Squeal Like a Chicken - Complete all racing secondary missions
- Start a Revolution - Complete "Exploited in the Bowels of Hell"
- Subj'gator - Win 10 match-made multiplayer battles.
- Thick as a Baby's Arm - Complete "Lair of the Metal Queen"
- Tourist - View all vistas
- Victor - Win a ranked multiplayer match
- Virtuoso - Learn all guitar solos
- Voices From Beyond - Unlock all songs in the Mouth of Metal
- Whispering Rock - Chisel four Razputin heads onto Mt. Rockmore.