Gamers Showcase Progressiveness by Wanting Gears of War Creator to Eat Ass

Gears of War creator and Boss Key Productions founder Cliff Bleszinski has some free time on his hands while he figures out his next step after the closure of his gaming studio, but it looks like he’ll have his mouth filled. Before going to bed, Cliffy B put up a Twitter poll asking his fans what he should do in the next day. It’s rare for gamers to agree on much of anything, but they overwhelmingly told the outspoken game designer to eat his wife’s ass.

Bleszinski included four different options in the poll: reading a book, playing through the excellent God of War, walking his dogs, or eating his wife’s ass. All four are fantastic options (although I cannot personally attest to eating Cliffy B’s wife’s ass). While everyone seems to love God of War, even more people are into ass eating as it has 61% of the nearly 8,000 votes counted at the time of writing. Second place is God of War at 24%, while reading a book and walking dogs trail with nine and six percent, respectively. For the record, I personally voted for reading a book since I’m a good Christian boy.

While the former “Dude Huge” has made some controversial statements in the past, he’s always supported progressive causes in his games, such as when he added gender-neutral bathrooms into Lawbreakers. In this case, it seems that he’s bringing the gaming community together towards a more progressive future with his pro ass eating stance. The positive response is downright shocking when you consider how much outrage there was about Battlefield 5 including women, despite them actually participating in World War II and adhering to the series’ rough idea of historical accuracy. Gaming might still have ways to go when it comes to female representation and the treatment towards women in the industry, but it’s apparently quite sex-positive. It’s a small, yet very necessary step.

This statement also comes at a pivotal time for eating out in general, as living meme and hip-hop star DJ Khaled recently went viral for statements he made about how there are “different rules” for males and females when it comes to oral sex. Khaled revealed that he did not reciprocate what he expected from his wife. While I’m still awaiting comment from Cliffy B on his official stance (we will make sure to update the article if he replies) on oral sex, we do know that he’s doing God’s work by being pro ass eating.

Of course, one does not eat ass without consent, and thankfully Cliff’s wife, Lauren Bleszinski is in on the social media poll. She responded to the early results of the poll by tweeting “Geez Louise!” Cliff later tweeted out that “Lauren can’t handle the pressure,” and told Venture Beat’s Jeffrey Grubb that the ass is “not gonna eat itself.” Which is a factual statement that can’t be argued as an ass can’t eat itself.

I like to think that Bleszinski is using his huge platform and celebrity to start an important conversation here. So, please let us know in the comments if you agree with the overall consensus that he should eat his wife’s ass, or if one of the three other options seem like a better choice. I do feel bad for the dogs, as they should be walked daily, so hopefully Cliff can find enough time in the day to do both. But then again, I don’t know how thorough of an ass eater Cliffy B is, so maybe it’s an all-day event that requires one to clear out their calendar for.

Image Credit: L337Lauren / Instagram