For your eyes only.
Greetings, secret agent. Yes, I said secret agent.
So secret, even you don’t know! You probably don’t remember this, but
you are actually agent Howard Gibson or Jean Clifford. With that disguise you’re
wearing it’s kind of hard to tell. My name is G and I have a mission for you.
Some terrorists have hijacked the World Coalition’s super spy satellite. We
believe they plan on using it to listen to the leaders of the world sing in
the shower. Intelligence is kind of sketchy now, but it’s rumored that they
could be working for a militant faction of music producers hell-bent on reviving
Solid Gold. Then again, we could
be completely wrong. In any case, you are to take part in Operation: SAVE
task is simple. Dust off that light gun you used to kill those zombies
long ago and shoot everything in sight. Except the civilians, of course. You
know how much paperwork that will cause.
Before you start off on your mission, there are plenty of training exercises
to try just in case you need to brush up on your skills. Six different rooms
will catch you up on your combo shooting, timing, and other important secret
agent skills. But of course, you and I both know that training is pretty boring
compared to the real deal. Who wants to stand around shooting target dummies
when there is a world to save?
Now for a quick word about your adversaries. Easy to kill and in possession
of no brain whatsoever, these evil monkeys, er, terrorists will pop up out of
nowhere and take potshots at you. If you feel cocky, go for the famous “Justice
Shot” by shooting the gun out of your attacker’s hands. It’s really nothing
you haven’t done before, but it’s still great for showing off that superior
skill of yours. You’ll also notice that enemies respond accurately to where
they’ve been shot. It’s about time for them to learn a little lesson.
For this mission, you’ll be equipped with the latest hit detection device.
It will tell you exactly where you shot the last bad guy. It isn’t particularly
helpful in the downfall of the enemy, but the boys over in the weapons division
thought it might be fun to know when you’ve shot a guy in the crotch.
There will also be the occasional sticky situation requiring the use of "special"
toys. For this you are being outfitted with a “sticky shot” gun as well as a
grappling hook. They can only be used in a specific location and your success
or failure will lead you down different paths. Unfortunately, all roads lead
to Rome, so to speak, and these small path variations seem like nothing at all.
I hope you like your standard issue gun because it is pretty much the only
one you’ll ever use. A few of the terrorists have assault rifles, which you
can use, but the ammo on those things disappears faster than James Bond the
We anticipate this mission to be a fairly simple one. With someone of your
skill, it should take all of twenty minutes or so to wrap up the case. There
are only three parts to this job. The first takes place in a museum, the second
on a train, and the last in the den of thieves. Do extremely well, and you’ll
open up a parallel universe with different enemy patterns. Not much, but I suppose
if you must, you must.
Oh, and if you managed to get your hands on one of those light guns with an
automatic setting, make sure you set it to normal. Anything else wouldn’t be
fair at all to those bad guys. You do want to play fair, don’t you?
I’m sure you’ll find this Confidential Mission exactly as you’d picture
it. Short and to the point with lots of gun fodder. Oh, and I almost forgot.
With recent industry layoffs and the NASDAQ plunging into the depths of darkness,
the Confidential Mission Force no longer has the funds to pay you for your work.
In fact, if you want this mission, you’ll have to pay for it. It’s a good thing
it’s only $20 or we might not have any takers.
Good luck, secret agent. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
If it doesn’t, just hit ‘Back’ or something. There are spies everywhere!