Hello. My name is Hal. Prepare to die.
Computers are out to destroy humanity. Don’t believe me? Look at Terminator
2 or The Matrix. Nobody knows how this whole argument started, but
the artificial intelligence punks that shot out my sun are going to be in a heap
of trouble, believe you me.
Until these binary spewing boxes of pure malevolence find the magical calculation
that places humans in petting zoos, computers
will have to be content with fragging our collective asses through games like
Unreal Tournament on the Dreamcast ports over those evil
number-crunching Bots from the PC, as well as allowing obligatory network
play against fellow humans. The result is a good console interpretation that
will take you across Deathmatches, Capture the Flag, Challenge, and Domination
modes, as you vie to be the number one gunner.
Still, the game experience pales compared to what the
PC version offers. I just have to say it. The PC brings you more levels,
modifications, updates, and the simple fact that you already have a keyboard
For example, where are the assault levels? Assault was my favorite game mode
– two teams pitted against one another in a match to be the king. The offensive
team must brave a mess of tasks compounded against an ever-dwindling time limit.
Levels such as securing a speeding train from the defenders to a full-scale
invasion of enemy shores were beautiful. And now, they are nowhere to be found.
However, the game does come with a surplus of Domination and Capture the Flag
levels. Domination involves securing territory throughout the level, aided by
team gameplay. Given, these same levels are easily obtainable for the PC through
the Unreal Tournament update. Chalk another one for PC over Dreamcast.
The Dreamcast limits you to three strict control configurations. Square pegs
being stuffed into round holes, these confining setups hurt the most with your
alternative fire capability. Pressing Up on the D-pad will give you your alternate
fire on Config 1 and 2, but once your thumb reaches down for that laser,
how are you going to aim? Config 3 fares no better, mucking up your aiming controls.
Why didn’t they just let me customize my own controls? Johnny finds this highly
confounding and illogical.
If you’ve got yourself a sugar daddy, you could get the expensive proprietary
mouse and keyboard for the Dreamcast. The keyboard is at least worthwhile with
other network games and Typing of the Dead,
but most people don’t even know that there’s a Dreamcast mouse. At least the
PS2 has USB hookups for some universal peripheral usage.
Even after you drop the cash on accessories, it will only “control” like the
PC. The experience still isn’t the same. Why eat imitation crab when you could
have the real deal?
The game boasts 8-player network play. The computer can do more than twice
that many, but a more direct comparison would be Quake III DC, which can only
handle 4. The lag can get annoying, but for a console it’s still impressive,
so I tip my hat.
Network play is relatively fun considering the limitation of a 56K modem.
And the Broadband adapter? Well, these puppies have only recently crawled back
into stock on Sega’s website and will set you back another 60 dollars. If you
already have broadband, then your computer is probably hefty enough for the
cheaper, grander PC version.
my attacks on DC Unreal, it still offers a fine helping of visceral fun..
The DC bots on the harder levels provide a good challenge, and even on lesser
levels, the single player experience makes for some good times. If you can deal
with the split screen, 2 player versus offers a kick…but 4 player matches will
drop the framerates and graphic detail noticeably.
The graphics are a little fuzzy. The framerates are well oiled, but the sharpness
is a few shades shy of wholly pleasing. The PS2
version of Unreal Tournament looks like the PC outputting to TV at
640 by 480. Dreamcast is a notch below that. Nonetheless, you can still see
the stylistic future world of UT adequately.
The character models are well constructed, but there are only skins for male
characters. I think that’s just more than a little bit sexist. How are lady
gamers supposed to feel when their entire sex hasn’t been represented? How are
hormonal pubescent boys supposed to feel when they can’t look at digital booty?
Speaking of which, the post game pelvic thrusting is also missing. How can
I celebrate my victories without a gratuitous jab into the air? I must assert
my superiority through a lewd gesture, yet I am woefully robbed of all such
abilities. Erh, anyway…
The sound and music translate beautifully, largely the equivalent of the PC
Many will wonder if this is better than Quake
III for the DC. More than anything, it’s apples and oranges. I’ve always
been a fan of UT over QIII, so for me this game is more fun. Considering
the increased number of potential opponents in the online play, it’s closer
to what a FPS online console frag-fest should be.
If your PC is decent enough and you’ve got
the connection speeds, Unreal Tournament: Game of the Year Edition
is available for less than 20 dollars. And you won’t have to buy additional
But lets say you don’t have a decent computer and can barely even run this
webpage – the Dreamcast is your only possible source of FPS mayhem with network
play. Unreal Tournament is a good choice; just remember, it’s not the
whole enchilada. I like the difficulty level of the bots within single player
as well as the possibility of 8-player network play. And where else can you
find a chance to put those damn dirty
robots in their rightful place?