You f@#* well!! Review

You f@#* well!!

Well, it sounds like that’s what he’s saying. Battle Arena Toshinden Remix has too long a name, but its a pretty good game. This polygonal fighting game should be well known to most readers; there are only a few differences in the ‘remix’. It looks and feels almost exactly like its PlayStation counterpart.

Toshinden is a martial arts tournament That seems to draw some very strange fighters. None of them seem even particularly interested in the Tournament itself. If you play in story mode, you’ll find that they all have some ulterior motive for fighting.

Ellis for example is a little girl, and a dancer. She’s looking for her father, whom she thought was dead. Her skilled, vicious fighting remains unexplained. Eiji seems to be the main character of this story. He has some mythical sword, the White Tiger Sword, and he is on a quest to find his brother. Sho, his brother is the last fighter you must defeat in 1-player mode. I also have to mention Duke, because he’s named after me. This armored knight is only here because he wants to beat up Eiji, who defeated him once before. He has a preposterous French accent and what must be the biggest sword in any fighting game ever.

The graphics are pretty good, but really haven’t been improved much. Some characters definitely look better than others. Ellis’ see-through outfit looks really good, the partially translucent effect works well. Her face looks like an anime character though, with big cartoon eyes. Sofia’s massive cleavage in impressive in the still shots. But it (they?) doesn’t translate well onto the 3D, rendered character. Her torso just looks weird. Same with Rungo’s gigantic pecs.

There are ten fighters in total. Eight that you can choose from, and the two bosses. They use a wide variety of weapons, including swords, claws, knives, a spear, a whip, and a massive stone club. The packaging makes reference to a character named ‘Kupeed’, but we haven’t been able to find him/her.

Don’t buy this game unless you have someone to play it with. In 1-player or story mode it is ridiculously simple to beat. Even the bosses, Gaia and Sho, are only moderately more difficult. This is a good two-player fighting game though. The control is good, the characters have lots of moves (including some secret ones), and you need a little bit of strategy to be a really good fighter. Just hitting buttons, or learning one good move won’t cut it.