City of Crap
Ahhhhh…. Another game based on a movie. This time, however, the game is based on an awful movie, which was the sequel to a pretty bad movie (somehow completed despite the untimely death of the lead actor, Brandon Lee), which was based on a slightly better than average comic book. Did you follow all that? I bet you can guess what it all adds up to. Crap.
Whoever it was at Acclaim that put the stamp of approval on The Crow: City of Angels, who authorized the expenditure of a single dollar for its production, should be immediately fired. Then he should be clubbed and skinned.
The lead character and namesake of The Crow is an avenging spirit. He returns from the grave to avenge his own death, and that of his girlfriend. The form of the angry undead? A Karate master zombie ghost in smeared mime makeup. Very goth. Very East Village. Mmmmmmm… Artsy. Spare us.
In The Crow: City of Angels he returns again, this time to avenge the deaths of people killed by a murder-for-kicks gang that videotapes their deeds. To get through to them, the Crow must beat up thugs, bikers, biker chicks, leather daddies and assorted petty criminals.
The fighters are all polygonal, with static backgrounds and fixed camera angles, like the highly acclaimed Resident Evil. This is the only resemblance between The Crow and Resident Evil. The backgrounds are poorly done and many of the camera angles are just stupid.
The polygonal characters actually look pretty good. Their movement is smooth and the graphics are detailed right down to the clown makeup on the main character’s face. There is a fairly wide variety of enemies, so you don’t have to fight the same guy over and over endlessly. Which brings us to the worst part of the game: the fighting.
The gameplay is just bad, really bad. Moving the Crow is difficult at best. He has a few fighting moves and a variety of weapons to pick up, but he looks ridiculous using all of them. The fighting engine is the worst I’ve ever seen with polygons moving right through each other. There is almost no collision detection at all in this game. Arms and legs pass through each other with no effect. Stand too close to your enemy and you kick right through his chest, doing no damage.
Graphically, this game looks like an alpha test version. This is not a good
thing. The PC version looks identical to the Saturn and Playstation versions,
with slightly better definition in the backgrounds.
But what about the sound? I am happy to say that consistency has prevailed. The game music is the auditory equivalent to a festering toothache. I turned off the sound, but the horrid putrescence passed off as the ‘soundtrack’ stayed with me like a stomach virus. It just plain sucks.
It is mind-boggling that the same company who gave us Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, with its tight, accurate polygons, could also release this turkey the very same month. Acclaim, I say unto you: Have you no shame?
Simply put, The Crow: City of Angels is one of the worst titles I’ve ever seen. Avoid all contact with this game. Should contact occur, immediately rinse with water and consult a physician.
