A plea for the equitable treatment of Zombies in society. Review

A plea for the equitable treatment of Zombies in society.

I know that you are the sort of person who fights for what they believe in, so I feel it necessary to bring to your attention a new game for the PlayStation called Resident Evil 2. This new title from Capcom treats our Zombie citizens unfairly. Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

Like the first Resident Evil, you have the choice of two characters. This time you can be Leon Kennedy, a cop who should be tried for violating the civil rights of Zombie-Americans. This rouge cop seems to feel that the ‘living-impaired’ are just his personal punching bags, to beat up and shoot as he pleases. Of course, your only other oppressive option is to be a ‘life-ist’, biker chick in a bubble-gummer outfit. Her bigotry towards Zombies is just as obvious, whether she’s shooting them or stabbing them with the knife she keeps strapped to her chest. Her name is Claire, and she’s the brother of Chris from the first game. Let’s just say it runs in the family.

These two hooligans meet up in Raccoon City and then it’s off on a Zombie bashing festival. Most of the adventure takes place in (and under) the Raccoon City Police Department, where our Zombie friends are attempting to hold a non-violent protest. Oh sure, they might occasionally try to eat people, but they can’t help it. It not their fault. It is a disease.

As the enlightened among us know, this disease is called the G-virus, which is a modification on the original T-virus developed by the white-male owned, oppressive Umbrella Corporation. It causes zombies to mutate unpredictably. In the underprivileged alleys and sewers of Raccoon City there are skinless zombies, zombie plants, freaky tongue-lashing zombies, and grizzly bear sized, giant zombies with gaping maws and razor teeth. Just another symptom of capitalist control over your body.

There are two other people you may meet up with if you play Resident Evil 2. The mysterious and sexy Ada Wong, and the gratuitous, annoying, little child, Sherry Birkin. A good new feature of RE2 is the fact that you get to be either of these two characters for a little while in order to get further in the story. I whole heartedly approve of being able to experience the world as a whole different person and discover their pain and oppression first-hand. If only the game let you feel what it is like to shamble a mile in a Zombie’s shoes.

The missions are moderately different if you play as either Leon or Claire, although most of the settings are the same. As an additional bonus, if you beat the game, you can save to the memory card. Load that game using the other character, and your original Zombie kill-fest has an influence on a new second mission available to the other character.

Of course the best part of the game is that it will make your pulse jitter like a nervous ferret. It will give you clammy palms and the feeling that something is watching you. Play it alone, in the dark, and like a good horror movie, it WILL make you jump and your heart WILL skip a beat. Nevertheless, this doesn’t make up for the unadulterated Zombie bashing.

Now, I hear what you’re saying: "This Zombie is chewing on my foot, it deserves to be shot." But that’s just the response that society has conditioned you to have. So even though this is a great game with good graphics, terrific sound, riveting action, and puzzles that will keep you entertained for hours… As a favor to our Zombie friends, do not buy this game.

Just remember… they can’t control it. It’s really just a cry for help. With some therapy and big, warm, loving hugs, the living-impaired can be welcome members of a productive and happy community.

(Editor’s note: Game Revolution neither supports nor condemns Baldric’s vision of togetherness. But we do find his liberal stance on Zombie Rights a bit, ahem, skewed…so we shot him.)

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