The Women of Grand Theft Auto V: Volume 2

*That's me on the left!

I finally finished Grand Theft Auto V. Just so you know, I think that it was executed beautifully using three protagonists, and I look forward to how they expand on it in the future with DLC. I didn't start making this list to say that the women in Grand Theft Auto V are all poorly written and I hate the game.

After GTA V launched, there were many articles about misogynistic elements in the game and instead of writing another article about how those elements made me feel as a woman, I decided it was best to deal with it in a different way. If you want to talk about how female characters are portrayed in a video game, how about actually talking about the female characters in the game?  

As I played through the main story and a majority of the side-quests, I paid attention to the females I encountered and how they factored into the Grand Theft Auto universe. This list is more about observation then criticism. If you don't like it or don't understand it and think it's crap, I can deal with that, but it also means that you're not the person I made this list for. If you missed the first half of this list, then you can check it out here.

 

SPOILER WARNING!!!
 

22. IAA Detective – The Anal Rapist

We only see her during the scene right before you kidnap Ferdinand Karimov from the IAA. She is clearly the most badass interrogator in the room, threatening to anal rape the poor guy with a flashlight. She does offer to use some lube first.  

 


23. Maude – The Backwoods Bounty Hunter

A large, sassy woman who gives Trevor bounties so he can help her track down bond jumpers.

 


24. Officer Jernigan – The Reluctant Law Enforcer

So I looked all over the game for Sergeant Vasquez, the female cop pictured on the limited edition GTA V poster I received when I pre-ordered Grand Theft Auto many moons ago, but I did not find her. Instead I found Officer Jernigan, drinking a latte outside of the Los Santos Police Department complaining about her job.

 


25. Sue Murry – Political Candidate  

One of two political candidates running for Governor of San Andreas. She represents the satirical embodiment of all liberal candidates while her opponent Jock Cranley is the complete opposite. You can hear her and her campaign promotions on several radio stations periodically throughout the game.

 

 

26. "Mr." Raspberry Jam  – Trevor's Special Friend

He's not a person and technically not even a she, but it's the way Trevor talks about "Mr." Raspberry Jam that proves one important thing: It's the thought that counts.

 


27. Patricia Madrazo – "I Clean?"

She's the wife of Martin Madrazo, the man Michael becomes indebted to early on in the game. After Trevor gets involved, he kidnaps Patricia and becomes fond of her. Whether it be Stockholm Syndrome or true love, it's clear by the end of the game that Trevor and Patricia may have the purest relationship in all of Grand Theft Auto V, even if they don't end up together.

 


28. Leonora Johnson – Notorious Murder Victim

You can read about Leonora Johnson on the in-game internet. Her personal story mimics that of the notorious unsolved Black Dahlia murder. Like Elizabeth Short, Leonora came to Los Santos seeking fame but was brutally murdered and the perpetrator was never found. You can uncover the mystery behind her death by finding collectible pages throughout the game.

 


29. Violet –  The Sex-Starved Secretary 

The secretary/sidekick in the fictitious cartoon Impotent Rage. She constantly sends signals that she wants to have sex with the main character of the show, but he is so distracted by his impotent rage that he doesn't notice her advances at all. 

 

 

30. Molly Schultz – Uptight Business Woman

A business partner of Devin Weston's who hires Trevor, Michael, and Franklin to steal high-end cars as a part of a movie insurance scam. She is prone to being uptight, being a bitch, being hit on by Trevor Phillips, and being sucked into jet engines.

 


31. Mrs. Thornhill  – British Dumpster Diver

You stumble upon Mrs. Thornhill and her husband during one of Trevor's Strangers and Freaks missions. Overall, Trevor's storyline and side quests are my favorite and helping this adorable old couple find mementos from movie stars in unscrupulous ways is quite fun. However, I don't know what's more unbelievable, a non-homeless old lady rooting around in the garbage or a British person rooting around in the garbage. It just seems so un-British to me. 

 


32. Debra – Wade's Fiancé

For a majority of the game Debra is referred to in passing by Wade, her fiancé, who's condo Trevor crashes in when he first comes to Los Santos. When she finally arrives home, she confronts Wade and Trevor. She wants Trevor out of the condo and eventually asks Wade to leave as well, brandishing a pistol in the process. During the confrontation she also brings up some guy named "Bob" and it's implied that she possibly cheated on Wade with him. Shit hits the fan and Trevor ends up killing both Wade and Debra.

 


33. Mrs. Phillips – Mommy Dearest

After completing the last mission, without choosing to kill anyone, Trevor gets a special visit from his mom who is fresh out of prison. Right away it's pretty apparent that he's got some serious mommy issues, groveling at her feet like a big baby. Trevor's relationship with Patricia sure makes a hell of a lot more sense now.

 


34. Sergeant Vasquez – The Permanent Poster Girl

I'm closing out my list with Sergeant Vasquez. Ever since I pre-ordered my copy of Grand Theft Auto V and got my Limited Edition poster featuring a female character, who not only looked similar to me but also had a similar last name, I was looking forward to where she fit into the game. Imagine my disappointment when I found no trace of her in the main story or sub-plot of the game.

Maybe she'll appear in DLC, the online GTA world, or some side quest I haven't completed yet. Only time will tell… What I do know is that out of all of the characters featured on the promotional posters for Grand Theft Auto V, there were three women. And so far, none of them appeared in the game at all.  

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