Es No EA, Senorita . . . Review

Es No EA, Senorita . . .

So let’s face it. When a video game company chooses to release a sports game, it does so with the knowledge that its product will fight an uphill battle against not only the consuming public, but more importantly, the hands-down sports king – Electronic Arts. It’s the perfect scenario for the sports game player: tons of different software companies trying their hearts out to make a game that earns the title “better than EA.” Unfortunately, the folks at Fox probably didn’t even play FIFA ’98. Fox Sports Soccer ’99 is simply (barely) an average soccer game in every sense of the word.

First off, I need to get something off my chest. Is this a video game, or a commercial? Admittedly, I was a little biased even before I turned on the game – the cover itself is that good ‘ol Fox Sports blue and gray box with “Soccer ’99” instead of “West” or “Net.” Turn the box over and you’re greeted with the slogan “Watch Fox Sports. Play Fox Sports.” Hello? When was the last time you saw soccer on Fox? The thing that really ticked me off, however, is that the automatic replay comes complete with those lame-ass graphics that Fox made famous when it tried to cover hockey. You remember those blue flashes that mysteriously glowed around the puck every time a guy took a slapshot? Well, in replay mode, there’s a goofy red line that traces the path of the ball. And you wonder why you haven’t seen soccer on Fox.

Just a few quick words about something that we often take for granted: Menus. The menus in this game look and feel like they were thrown together the night before it was published. It took a friend and I a good 10 minutes just to figure out how to set up a two player game. On top of that, the menus aren’t exactly eye-candy, either.

As far as game play goes, this game needs major work. The guys run and cut so fast, it’s hard to look at. Obviously, Fox tried to make this game fast-paced; they just sacrificed a little chunk of reality in doing so. Also, if you’re playing in all but the Amateur modes, you may notice that many of your shots end up miles away from the goal. That’s because a simple press of the ‘shoot’ button rockets the ball to wherever your player happens to be pointing – although it adds an interesting bit of depth, I’m rather partial to games where the ‘shoot’ button automatically directs your shot towards the goal, but that’s just me (and you, right?).

There ain’t much in the way of fancy stuff, either. Although there are the usual headers and rare bicycle kicks, there’s absolutely no juke button, so don’t even think about faking one way and going the other. The power meter that appears at the bottom of the screen when you’re about to shoot is a cool addition, though.

Don’t plan on playing this game one player, because it’s just not fun. Once you get familiarized with the controls, you’ll beat the computer in Amateur mode by like 15 goals, no joke. Move up to Semi-Pro and the margin of victory may drop to say, five goals. Try Professional and International, and unless you’re Pele, consider yourself toast. In other words, the AI is really unbalanced.

Fox Sports Soccer ’99 features the usual spread of options: you can Practice, play a Friendly game, or guide a team through a national or international season. It also has a “we’re gonna throw this in because it sounds good, but you’ll never use it because it’s too pointless” option that let’s you design your own Custom Cup race. Oh yeah, and this game has no official licenses, so don’t expect to see Alexi and Renaldo duking it out Fox style.

To the game’s credit, however, it does have a few goodies. At the first menu

for example: a nifty little prompt that asks you if you want English or Spanish.

Now I don’t know about you, but a soccer game that comes complete with a Spanish

simulcast is pretty groovy. I didn’t even flinch the first time I played it,

immediately opting for the Spanish game even though my Espanol is more or less

limited to “one more tequila, please” (“uno mas tequila, por favor”). And let

me tell you, it’s definitely cool to hear the Spanish commentator railing on

your D for letting that easy header fly by. It’s also kind of fun to put the

game on pause and have a big yellow “PAUSA” staring

back at you. After the fifty some goals that were scored during my Spanish game,

however, I still didn’t get one “GGGGGOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!!”, and that right

there might have made this game a keeper.

Another thing nice about Fox Sports Soccer ’99 is that it looks great. The players are super detailed, the stadiums are fun to look at (although not selectable), and the fields themselves look like dew-covered lawns on a Sunday morning. Slide tackle a guy real hard and you’ll even leave a nice dirt line in the grass that stays there for the whole game – a nice touch.

And I have to admit to having some pretty heated two-player battles. Soccer by its very nature is very competitive, and Fox managed to keep some of that spirit in the game. Just don’t go to penalty shots, because I still can’t figure out how to control the goalie properly (and no smart ass, its not in the directions… I even checked the Spanish section).

All in all, if EA never existed, Fox Sports Soccer ’99 might be a decent

game. EA, however, is alive and kicking, sending FSS ’99 to the $19.99

rack.

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