God of War: Origins Collection Review

No 300 needed here.

Yo, how much money do you have in your pocket? Well… check… go ahead… I’ll wait… yeah, don’t forget to look in your wallet…hey, what about that little coin holder in your car next to the steering wheel? Okay, so… how much ya got? $39.99? If you don’t, get your stuff together and borrow the difference, because God of War: Origins Collection is out now!

I know what you’re thinking, “Come on, man, I’ve played all the God of Wars. What could I possibly get from this one?” The answer is simple: An excuse to yell “This is Sparta!!!”, and let the neighbors think you’re having some meaty testosterone-filled sausage-fest.

Originally designed for the PSP, Chains of Olympus and Ghost of Sparta have been upgraded to fit the PlayStation 3 standards, fully HD-capable with all the same trimmings one has come to expect from the GoW series. There’s not much changed from the original games themselves except now, two platinum Trophies are available. You can spend a ridiculously frustrating amount of time attempting to gain all achievements in one game just to spend even more absurd amounts of time trying to do the same with the other. If there's anything to gripe about, it's that the stretched graphics look good but not amazing, and the cameras are not controllable.

Origins kicks off with a split-screen title menu, to the right Ghost of Sparta, on the left Chains of Olympus, both epically illustrated, equally inspiring. Though it is a dual collection, both titles don’t share the same value, a lesson I had to learn on my own. But you get the splendid luxury to hear me babble and Rambo on about the better choice because I don't know what else to say about this obvious, get-this-now collection but it would be awesome to Rambo, tote a cool-looking machete-knife, fire guns at the Energizer Bunny, shoot chicken arrows, wait that’s ‘Hot Shots part Deux’, never mind maybe I’ll just Rocky, “Aaaadriann!”, Pulp Fiction may be my favorite movie, “Say what again, I dare you, I double dare you muthaf***a, say what one more god damn time”, classic!  Oh, right, I never told you which game was better… ummm… *thinking*…right, go for Ghost of Sparta, action, action, grunts, sword-axe swinging, action.

From the small screen to the big one (well, your television), God of War: Origins Collection won’t disappoint. Though it's just yet another collection, it's hard to argue with two solid titles for $40. So grab a copy, buy a bloody burrito, and enjoy all the lovely bloodshed Kratos is sure to spill from his foes. And if you don’t like it, then “You can’t handle the truth!” cause “There’s no crying in baseball!"